Rachel's Dilemma
by Thesunwillrise
Summary: As the day of her wedding rapidly approaches, Rachel loses the support of the only girl whose opinion matters to her. Will this be enough to make her see the light?
1. The Bridal Shop

Rachel couldn't believe her luck as she stood in the dressing room in _the _most perfect wedding dress she had ever seen. As she twirled in circles like a young girl on her first day of school, Rachel thought about everything that was going well in her life. She was smart, pretty, more talented than anyone she knew (in her humble opinion), and engaged to be married to the most attractive guy at school. She was in a place that most girls only dreamed of. Why, then, was she looking in the slightly dirty mirror at her long brown hair and slim body in the loveliest wedding gown the store offered, and worrying not about what Finn would think when he finally saw her, but of how Quinn would react?

Quinn.

Even the name made her heart beat faster and a smile grow on her face. Quinn was something special. She was strong and brave and without a doubt, the prettiest girl Rachel had ever know.

"Stop it, Rachel" she whispered to herself.

"You're here for Finn. You love Finn. Pull yourself together!"

After her fitting room pep-talk, Rachel took a deep breath and slowly opened the door that would lead her to her friends' reactions. As she stepped out from the shadows, she was overwhelmed with the thoughts of her bridesmaids. "You're gorgeous, Rachel!" "You look like a cake topper!" "That dress is stunning!" Unfortunately, the time she spent trying to tell herself that she was only trying on that dress for Finn went flying out the window the second she saw the hurt and disdain on Quinn's face. Though she tried to block it out, Rachel just didn't feel as special in her gown as she would have if Quinn had been the one to tell her how pretty she looked.

"What's the matter, Quinn?" she asked, casting aside her better judgment.

"What's the matter? Seriously, Rachel? I just...can't believe that you of all people would do this. You're the shining star out of all of us, and I admire you most for being completely unapologetic with your goals and ambitions, but I cannot stand to watch you throw everything away to marry Finn Hudson. I never thought that, of any of us Glee kids, you would be the one who ended up being afraid to take on the world."

Rachel noticed that both she and Quinn were on the verge of tears after the heartfelt confession.

"I don't think I'm afraid to take on the world, Quinn." She whispered, looking at the ground.

"Well it certainly seems that way, Rachel. Either that, or you're settling because for whatever reason, you think that you can't have any and everything that you want in life."

"I..." was as far as Rachel got in her response before she finally let her tears fall. She was ashamed, embarrassed, hurt, and shocked. Shocked that anyone, let alone Quinn Fabray, would notice something about her that she never shared with another soul. Rachel _was_ worried that she would end up alone, with no one she could share her accomplishments with. She never wanted to admit it, for fear of ridicule, but she was a singer, not an actress, after all, and apparently she didn't fool people as well as she thought.

"You're right, Quinn." Rachel agreed, voice increasing in volume with every word. "I do worry about that, but Finn promised me that he wouldn't ever let me be alone again. That he would always be there for me."

"Have you ever thought" countered Quinn in a soft tone "that he was only telling you what you most needed to hear at the time? Because Finn has lied to you before, Rachel. And everyone here knows it. How do you know that you can trust him to not leave you, or use you for the amazing things that you're sure to accomplish?"

"No one can know things like that for sure." Rachel replied calmly. "But marriage is a whole new entity, and these vows mean everything to me."

"Then I urge you to share them with someone who deserves to hear you say 'I do', someone who will be unable to control their emotions when they see an angel dressed in white walking towards them with a face full of love and trust, someone who will treat you like the star that you are and always will be. Someone who isn't Finn."

What Rachel was about to say next, would be the most painful thing she would come out with in her entire life. But she had to say it. She had to defend her relationship with Finn. He loved her, right?

"I'm sorry that you feel that way, Quinn. I think it would be best if you didn't attend the wedding."

"Don't worry, Rachel. I won't." Quinn said with her head down, the blush on her face matching the pink color of her dress and her blonde hair falling in front of her eyes.

With one last look at Rachel, she left the dress shop and didn't look back.

Rachel, trying to hide her sobs, retreated into the fitting room once again to be alone. She couldn't believe how quickly the day has escalated. Did she really tell Quinn that she didn't want her around the wedding? What was she thinking?! She needed Quinn. She always needed Quinn.

The one woman who had always understood her beyond words. Who could communicate with just one glance, or shy smile.

She couldn't do it. Not now. Not after everything that had happened. Surely he'll understand. If he really loves her, he will, she reasoned with herself.

With a deep breath and a heavy heart, Rachel picked up the phone and dialed Finn's number. He answered on the second ring, and she managed to choke out the words she knew needed to be said, but still pained her beyond anything.

"Finn? We need to postpone the wedding."


	2. Postponed

"WHAT?!" Finn shouted so loudly that Rachel had to move the phone away from her ear before she responded.

"We need to postpone the wedding." Rachel stated again in a slightly intimidated tone.

"Why would you say that? Don't you love me? What else could I possibly do for you that I don't already do?"

"It has nothing to do with what you do or do not do for me, Finn. Just...I have a lot on my mind right now, and I think that NYADA needs to take my full focus. I can't achieve my dreams if I'm distracted by things that can easily be put off. My life, my future, cannot be put off, Finn. You must know that." Rachel panted at the end of her rant. She hadn't intended to speak so much on the subject, but the words just kept coming, as though her mind knew what she simply refused to acknowledge.

"Whatever, Rachel. I'm so tired of everything always being about you. It's always about your goals and your dreams and your potential. It doesn't even have to be about me, but it's never even US. How do you think that makes me feel?" Finn shot back with venom in his tone.

"Upset, obviously" Rachel replied in a cool voice. "But if you said that you had a dream that was so much bigger than you'd ever imagined, and that the only thing that would complete your life would be to attain it? Well, I certainly wouldn't stand in your way. As a matter of fact, I would be happy for you. Like you should be for me. I thought you would understand why I needed to do this. I thought that you would wait. I thought that you loved me. Maybe Quinn was right..." she trailed off.

"I do love you, Rachel. More than any girl I've ever met. And what does Quinn have to do with anything? Is she making you do this? Is she trying to get in the way again? I always knew there was something strange about your relationship with her. You look at her like she's the only person in the room if you're together. It's sickening."

"Nothing, Finn. It's nothing. She didn't do anything, calm down. I'm sure that I have no idea what you're talking about. I look at Quinn like I look at anyone else, so don't bring her into this. It's about us, remember?"

"Go ahead and keep deluding yourself, Rachel, but don't drag me down with you. I'm over it."

Like always, Finn got the last word, and Rachel was left with nothing but the dial tone in her ear and the sobs wracking her body in the dressing room. The girls must have long since left, as she realized that no one was coming to check on her. They must have assumed that their part in the day was done. For this, she was glad. The last thing that Rachel needed was for her friends to see her in tears on a day that was supposed to bring them all nothing but happiness.

She thought of Santana, who detested the color pink, yet agreed to wear it just to support her at her ceremony. Of how lovely Britney looked, admiring herself in the mirror. She thought of Tina and Mercedes, and how genuinely pleased they were to see her so happy. And then, as she was re-hanging the wedding gown and putting her street clothes back on, Rachel though of Quinn. While she was still surprised by the intensity of Quinn's reaction, she was also pleased. Very rarely in Rachel's life had people stood up to her and told her what she desperately needed to hear. Quinn, though, always had.

Lost in thoughts surrounding her friend, Rachel barely recalled thanking the sales people and explaining that she would be back another day for the dress, once she eliminated all other possibilities. She walked, almost mechanically, to her car. Once she had sat down and closed the door, she put her head down and closed her eyes against the headache that she could feel growing in her skull. The moment her eyelids closed, though, Rachel saw flashes.

She saw Quin with pink hair and a bad attitude, but still the most perfect smile. Quinn, with a baby bump and a special glow that Rachel had never even seen on another pregnant woman. Quinn in her cheer-leading uniform strutting about the school and making heads turn wherever she walked. Quinn, standing up for what she thought was right, no matter whose toes she stepped on in the process. And finally, Quinn standing up and walking, almost gliding towards Rachel with a smile on her face and a ring on her hand. She moved in closer, tilting her head, and...

"No!" Rachel sat bolt upright in her car, rubbing her eyes and shaking her head. "No. You're just exhausted. That's okay. It's never going to happen. Just get over it and move on. She doesn't want you, she just doesn't want you to make a mistake."

But no matter how hard she tried to lecture herself into believing those words, she couldn't. In the pit of her stomach, Rachel knew that something was really bothering Quinn, something major, and that sealed it. She was determined to work out what those passing glances meant, and the flashes she saw in Quinn's eyes today that had nothing to do with the intensity of her words. Besides, hadn't she gotten the more reserved girl to open up to her in the past? Hadn't she wiped Quinn's tears and done everything she could to wriggle her way behind the walls that Quinn had constructed? Of course, so this would be no different. All she would have to do was continue to be herself.

Unfortunately, though, after their argument today, it was going to be much harder to have a heart to heart anytime soon.

In that moment, Rachel knew what she had to do. She was not going to wait for the storm cloud to blow over this time, like she had so many times before when she argued with people, she was going to have to find Quinn in person and talk to her.


End file.
